Spectrum Home School: Family Meeting

© Copyright, 2009 Spectrumhomeschool. All rights reserved.

This family meeting plan can be utilized by all families, those that home school and families who choose other alternatives.

After many years of trying different reward programs, incentives, and behavior charts, and after a decade of reading parenting and psychology books, I developed this family meeting plan in an attempt to better the communication in our home. I have noticed, since implementing this program, that my boys are calmer, more apt to express themselves, and less prone to tantrums and losing control.

We hold a family meeting once a week, typically on a Saturday or Sunday late afternoon or evening, depending on our schedules, and sit in a circle on chairs and the couch in the living room. The meeting generally lasts anywhere from 60 - 90 minutes.

I have discovered if we miss a weekly meeting, the family dynamics and climate of the household changes. I witness more frustration and lack of self-control. I believe, in regards to health, constructive, open communication and smooth functioning of the household, contributes to a positive atmosphere, which in turn reduces stress and assists in better overall health.

I have also seen the mood of my sons' immediately change following the meeting, wherein they appear more relaxed and at peace with themselves and their surrounding. Talking increases Serotonin in the brain. Having the forum to express yourself in a secure, loving family circle, reaffirms the stability and safety of the home.

I drew on my extensive therapy experience, psychology readings, and the 12-Step Meeting approach to develop this format. This is uniquely mine. I hope you will find the plan helpful. You might want to print this page and keep the page with you for the meeting.

Here is what our family meeting looks like:

1. The youngest picks a toy or stuffed animal to bring to the circle. Whomever is holding the toy has the floor. (We did this the first several months, but now find we no longer need this tool.)

2. Quick Check in: Go around the circle from youngest to oldest and on a scale of 1-10 say how you feel at the moment. No one comments.

3. Thankful: Go around the circle from oldest to youngest andsay one person or thing you are thankful for. No one comments.

4. Concern: Go around the circle from middle-oldest-youngest and express one concern. This is followed by discussion where one person speaks at a time until a parent feels the subject is resolved or to be tabled for another time.

5. Contribute: Go around the circle in any order and give an example of one thing you are going to contribute to the family this week and explain one thing you are doing well or an area you are improving in. Followed by compliments.

6. Open Topic: Go around the circle youngest to oldest and add any topic about any subject, e.g. school, church, sports, hobby, concern, fear, etc. Generally no discussion follows.

7. Chores Reviewed: Discuss the household and work that needs to be shared. This is the time to include allowance, behavioral charts, or other, if implemented.

8. Closing Prayer or Reading: The family either listens to a reading from a selected book and/or joins hands in a circle and shares in a closing prayer.

Ground Rules: (Stated at the beginning of the Meeting)

The person who is holding the object has the floor.

No "put downs" or interrupting.

Try to have a positive attitude.

Show respect for each other.

Everyone can voice their opinion but the parent(s) have the final word.

What is talked about is our family's business only.

My youngest and our doggie